At our church, Evergreen Christian Community, my dad has been leading us in a series called “Known” where he leads us, verse by verse week by week, through Matthew 6:5-15 which includes what many call the Lord’s Prayer. I’m a big fan of the series, and what has really stuck out to me the most is actually something Jesus says before he gets to the prayer:
And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. – Matthew 6:5
For me this served to support a hunch that I’ve had recently; that you can and you will actually receive what you want. Jesus points out that the hypocrites here receive their reward. They get the attention and respect, more or less, that they sought from those around them. Biblically this seems to be true wherever you look, a man reaps what he sews. If you’re after cheap adoration, you can have it. If you’re after hasty sexual thrills, easy. You want an eternity without God, that’s your choice.
The point here is that God allows us to chase our desires, more often than not to our own destruction. The hunch I have actually pertains to something more positive: that if you have a dream that you want, truly, I believe you will have it. Even positions of high esteem, it seems to me, are achievable for those who want them more than the other guys. Movie stars, bestselling authors, they are prolific in their craft and tirelessly sought their goal even if there was a modicum of luck involved. Those who didn’t achieve what they set out to do are a dime a dozen, but how many people can you point to who legitimately gave all they had to their goal and failed? I understand those people exist, I just think there are far fewer than we assume.
What understanding this idea could do for you as its doing for me is act a diagnostic tool. “Why do I keep returning to that sin? Why do I keep failing here? Why can’t I force myself to work hard towards this?” Your desire here is the problem. For a man addicted to pornography, maybe the problem extends past chemical dependency and into his desire to be wanted. He chases that feeling in its easiest form and finds it. He gets what he wants and it is his undoing, as he poisons himself and sabotages his own attempts to free himself.
To me it can feel impossible to forcefully change the desires of my heart. Fortunately for us all our God has the power to change us, to the extent that we may as well not be the same person anymore. If you feel hopeless against your desires, ask our Father to help change your heart. And if you don’t need that, consider using this diagnostic tool whenever you are finding your own motivations mysterious.